Happy 1st Birthday Trevor!

Cutest Big Brother

Dearest Trevor,

Happy Birthday baby boy. Mommy, Daddy, and your Big Brother miss you very much. I can't believe it has already been a year. As crazy as it sounds, I don't see you as a 1 year old. You still are my 5 week old baby. I know you must be having a great time spending your first birthday in Heaven. I can only imagine how spoiled you must be. You have several grandparents and family with you. I know they are taking good care of you. I can imagine that you are learning to walk, and what a joy it must be to see you wobbling down the streets of gold. You have got to be the cutest little angel in Heaven. I wish I could just peek and look at you. I bet you are the spitting image of your daddy. I have been dreading and anticipating this day since you left us. I just didn't know how I could handle not begin able to celebrate this big day with you. And actually, I am having a pretty hard time right now. Today, August 8th, is one of the most happiest days of my life. I am so proud of you still for the fight you put up. I went in your room last night, and got out my "Trevor" box. It is a beautiful blue box that I have alot of stuff in it of yours. It has the outfit Daddy and I dressed you in after we gave you a bath, your pacifier, your blanket, some diapers and wipes, your NICU bracelets and sooo much more. Only good memories are in there. I held your birth certificate and the paper with you footprints, birth weight and measurements on it. I cried. I cried for you. I love you and miss you so much. I feel such an emptiness because I don't have you here. Landon still talks about you all the time. He want to know when you are coming back. I try to explain to him that you can't come back to us, but that we have to come to you. And we will one day baby. I promise. I hope you are having a great day today. Remember: Mommy loves you so much. Happy 1st Birthday Trevor.