Happy 2nd Birthday Trevor!

Yesterday, August 8th, was our sweet baby boy's birthday. I wanted to blog yesterday, but every time I came and sat down to blog, I just stared at a blank page. I couldn't find the words to say. I mean, what do you say on your child's 2nd birthday, when hes not here with you. Its hard. I guess I thought it was going to get easier. Stupid me. Me and Dustin were outside last night looking at the moon. He grabbed me and hugged me. I said, "Its hard to believe that 2 years ago we had Trevor here with us. We could touch him, look at him, talk to him, rub his head, and hold his hand. Now we can't....just 2 yeas later. Even though he was very sick, it was comforting to know that he was still here with us. Anytime we wanted to see him, feel him, we could. And now, even though he is healthy, happy, and not hurting, it is still not comforting....because hes not here. We cant touch him. Dustin wanted me to wait until he got home yesterday from work so we could both go to his grave. When we got there around 5, it shocked me to know we weren't the only people that came to visit with him. There were 2 balloons, 3 cards, and a toy at his grave. I broke down crying. It felt so good to know that he still had people out there that hasn't forgotten him. They still love him, as we do. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one still hurting....still missing him. Now I know I'm not. Even Bryce, who was only one year old when Trevor died, talks about Trevor. The other night his mom, My twin, went in his room to find it destroyed. She asked him who made such a big mess. Without missing a beat, Bryce said, "Trevor did Mommy. He messed my room up!" :) My mom has a baby doll that she bought that resembles Trevor so much. She has Trevor's clothes on him. Landon and Bryce love it. Bryce stayed with mom the other night and Bryce woke up around 2:00 am wanting Trevor. She had to get up and go find the baby boll for him to hold. Then he went right back to sleep holding Trevor. I am so glad that he will never be forgotten. We had a little "party" yesterday for Trev. I got a cake from The Sweet Spot and family came over to eat. We only had 12 people here. Us, our parents, grandparents, and Dawn, Bryce, and Kendall. It was good. We sung Happy Birthday to Trevor then let Landon blow the candle out. Hopefully we can do something small like this every year. To remember him.

Landon blowing out the candle. This candle is the same one I used for Landon's 2nd birthday.

Homemade ALMOST White Chocolate Mocha!

A friend that I work with, Terry, told me about a coffee that they use to make when she worked in another deparment. I decided to try it out and we LOVE it! We have already had it 3 nights in a row now, and I'm prertty sure we will have it tonight too! ;) This is what you will need:

All you do is brew your coffee (any kind will do). We have a Keurig Coffee Maker so we usually brew about 8 oz per cup. Then you take 4 oz of black coffee, and add 4 oz of Half and Half. However much coffee you use, you need to use that much of half and half. Then add Hershey's syrup to taste. I added 3 tablespoons to our cups and it was perfect for me, but Dustin said his was just a little too sweet. Then you just add whip cream on top and enjoy!

Yum!!!!!

Mini Vacation to the Beach

Me and Dawn decided to take the boys on a mini trip to the Beach this past week. We left Thursday morning after I got out of school at 10:00 and took off! We stayed on the Beach that day then went back to the Beach house to get ready. We went and ate at Texas Roadhouse(YUMMY) and then took the boys to play put-put. My aunt was down there too so we met them later for Painter's Homemade Icecream! Friday morning we ate Breakfast at one of our favs, The Golden Egg, then headed to spend a day on the Beach! We had a blast and the boys really enjoyed each others company. We headed home late that night but we all enjoyed it and cant wait for more beach trips!

7 Years down......our whole life more to go!

Today, Sunday, is mine and Dustin's 7 year Anniversary. It seems like just yesterday when we got married. Around 1:45 today, Dustin said, "About this time 7 years ago, you were getting ready to walk down the aisle. And I was sooo nervous!" I told him I was nervous too! We both know that we made the right decision. Dustin told me today, "I knew that I loved you and I wanted to be with you forever. That's all that really mattered. I know we were young. But why wait when your sure?" He is so wonderful! I melted all over again! What he told me next just completly made me realize just how much he love me and our not-so-perfect life together. He said, "If I knew before we got married, that we were going to have a son to die at just 5 weeks old, I would still marry you all over again." I was speachless. Could I say the same thing? I mean, here he is, telling me that if he KNEW that he was going to have to face the most horrible thing that can ever happen to a parent all over again, that he would. I wanted to immediatly tell him, "Me too Dustin." But I couldnt. It was like I couldnt speak. Here we are coming on to Trevor's 2nd Birthday, and the pain is still here like it happened just a few seconds ago. I felt ashamed that I couldnt answer him back with the same answer that he gave me. But I guess that's why we dont know what the future hold. Because if we did, we might would be too scared to do anything. And that's when I realized, I would do it again. Even if I knew. I wouldnt have a healthy 4 year old boy and a happy healthy marriage if I didnt marry the love of my life. God knew that I would need someone as strong as Dustin to get through loosing a child. And I thank God for knowing what's best for me, my family, and Trevor. So Happy Anniversary Dustin! Looking forward to this weekend for our getaway! Just the 2 of us! Love you always!

Fun at McLeod Peach Festival

 Lunch at Big's! Yum!

2 Peas in a pod!

Half way to 50!!!!

I cannot believe I am now 25 years old! I am half way through my twenties AND half way to 50!! Time definitely goes by faster now than when I was a kid! But I love my life and the people in it! I will be the first to tell you that I am spoiled! Dustin spoils me, Landon spoils me, and my mom spoils me! But not too bad! :) I had a wonderful Birthday! Me and Dawn took the boys to get ice cream. Mainly so we could actually see each other this year! Last year was the first year since we have been born that we didn't see each other on our birthday! We are just sooo busy now with kids of our own, that we often get waayyyy to busy! Dustin came home with 8 homemade cupcakes from the new shop in town, The Sweet Spot. He bought 4 pineapple crush and 4 lemon! They were delicious! Then him and Landon took me to one of my favorite places, Percy and Willies, for a Steak! Then we went to the mall and ironically, they both came out with something and I didn't get anything! Dustin got a shirt and Landon got a new pair of shoes! It was just one of those FEW times that I didn't see anything that caught my eye! When we got home my mom and Dad was waiting on us with a cake and presents! I really enjoyed this day and I have learned not to take even one day for granted! I could feel that Trevor was wishing me a Happy Birthday.....all the way from Heaven!

Very Thankful!

****WARNING! GRAPHIC PHOTOS BELOW


Landon busted his head open Saturday! We were at a birthday party and the kids were running around playing. All of a sudden, we heard someone crying and my friend Beth informed me that it was Landon. He didn't cry long, just about 20 seconds. He was running and happened to hit his head on the corner of the wall. I picked him up and took him back to the table with me and Dustin and let him lay his head down on my shoulder. A couple of seconds later, I glanced over at his head and all I seen was BLOOD! I said, "He's pouring blood!" and I gave him to Dustin. After they cleaned him up and I was sure that he wasn't seriously hurt, I went over there and looked at it. As soon as I seen it I knew he needed to go the the Emergency Room. We were just across the street so we walked back home and got the car and off we went! The Dr came in and looked at it and said that he needed 2 staples! The nurse came in an cleaned him up and cut his hair to get him ready. They let me hold the numbing medicine on his laceration while they got everything ready. We then managed to talk them into just gluing it. After cutting his hair we thought that gluing it would work just as good. At least they agreed with us! The only time Landon cried was when the glue was poured on his laceration. The Dr said it was burning him. But he was sooooo good and they couldn't believe that he wasn't kicking and screaming! We have one tough little boy! After a trip to Burger King and presents from the grandparents, he was back to his normal little self! He can't get his head wet around that area for 2 days, so he was been enjoying taking baths in our kitchen sink! Here are a few pictures of that day!