Snaaaaakeeeeee!!!!

When we come home and it's dark outside, we always shine the light that is on my key chain to make sure no snakes are around us. Dustin is the one that actually started this, and I just went along with it. I thought it was unnecessary. The other night, Landon was shinning around before we walked up the steps and ran and told Dustin to shine the light in a certain area. Sure enough, there was a snake!!!! We couldn't tell if it was a coral snake, which is the deadliest snake in this area, or just a king snake because it was moving around too fast. I finally convinced Dustin to kill it first, then we will find out later. I mean, a king snake can still bite, right??
It ended up being just a king snake, but this taught Landon to stay away from any snake, good or bad. I'm just glad that Dustin started this and Landon was being very watchful that night. I feel certain that my boys will always protect me! :)

Red and yellow, kill a fellow. Red and black, friend to Jack. ;)



First Day of 4K

I know this is a little late, but here is some pictures of Landon's first day of school this year!

 Breakfast of Champs: Strawberry Oatmeal, milk, and orange juice! :)

 I love his new bookbag!!!

In his classroom! We both LOVE his teacher, Mrs. Mason! 

Nothing better.....

than a Sunday Nap in Mom and Dad's bed!

Recap!

The last few weeks have been CRAZY! I started school August 16th and just haven't had to time to blog! Here is a recap of the last few weeks!

FIRST TIME BOWLING FOR LANDON AND BRYCE

MY OLDER SISTER, MIRANDA, TURNS 30

DUSTIN TURNS 30!

Landon made him have some kind of candle on it, so we put the candle from Landon's 2nd birthday on his cake!

cheesecake I made just for Dustin

Had a cookout for Dustin's 30th birthday and the Carolina/Georgia game. Landon

and Boyd played with the water hose.

Had a new deck built! Love it!!! Hartsville Lumbar and Barns did a fantastic job!!!

His grill, his grill cover. Tried to get him to get the Clemson one. ;)

Fire pit. Many nights of smores!

Hopefully I can do a better job on keeping up with the blog now that I'm caught up! 

Never Forgotten

You ever have that "smell" that comes to you at the weirdest times and reminds you of something?? That happens to me all the time. I can be shopping, at home, eating or playing with Landon and all of a sudden, I smell it. I smell the NICU room that Trevor was in. I smell the soap that we had to scrub our hands with three times before we were allowed to walk back there. I smell that way he smelt. I can smell the medicine. I can smell the way Trevor smelt after me and Dustin gave him his first and last bath. It floods me with memories, good and bad and stops me dead in my tracks whenever I smell it. Its like I am shocked and I am smelling it for the first time since he passed, only 2 years ago Tuesday. September 13th is the worst day of my life. If I could, I would sleep through that entire day. But I know I cant. I think about Trevor EVERY day. But on this day, its so hard to think of the good times that we had with him. Like the first time he opened his eyes for us, or the first time he grabbed Dustin's finger and squeezed it. All I can think about is this is the day that he left us. The day that no parent ever wants to face. The day that our hopes and dreams of bringing him home were shattered. Me and Dustin were on the deck a couple night ago, drinking coffee and star gazing. I said, "Don't you just wish that there was a way that we could just peak up to Heaven and see Trevor. Even if just for 10 seconds. To know, and see with our own eyes, him up there. Smiling, playing, and most of all, healthy. I wonder what he looks like when he's not sick?" We both just sat there, knowing that was an impossible request. I'm sure we wouldn't be satisfied if God would let us see him. We would always want more. I can't wait to see him again. I think that when I finally get my hands on him, for the second time and for always, that I want be able to put him down!

Weekend Getaway!

Me and Dustin went on a mini vaca to the Beach for our 7 year Anniversary. We stayed at a Condo in Garden City and it was on the 14th floor! We both agreed that we couldn't ever take Landon on such a high floor with a private balcony. It scared us just to think about it! We had a blast! Dustin had never went to a water park before so we went there and had a blast. We walked on the beach alot and Dustin even found 3 shark teeth. Of course we ate like crazy too. The last day we were there we went walking on the Beach around 8:30 that morning and got to see a dolphin going in and out the waves. It was so pretty. We had a nice dinner at Murrells Inlet and got to sit outside on the Marsh. Then we went walking afterwards and got to see some fireworks over the water. We enjoyed getting to spend some one on one time together. We had a blast and really enjoyed each others company, but we were more than ready to get our hands on Landon. When we pulled down Tedder Street, we both had our hands on the door handle trying to see who could get to Landon first! I won! :)

Happy 2nd Birthday Trevor!

Yesterday, August 8th, was our sweet baby boy's birthday. I wanted to blog yesterday, but every time I came and sat down to blog, I just stared at a blank page. I couldn't find the words to say. I mean, what do you say on your child's 2nd birthday, when hes not here with you. Its hard. I guess I thought it was going to get easier. Stupid me. Me and Dustin were outside last night looking at the moon. He grabbed me and hugged me. I said, "Its hard to believe that 2 years ago we had Trevor here with us. We could touch him, look at him, talk to him, rub his head, and hold his hand. Now we can't....just 2 yeas later. Even though he was very sick, it was comforting to know that he was still here with us. Anytime we wanted to see him, feel him, we could. And now, even though he is healthy, happy, and not hurting, it is still not comforting....because hes not here. We cant touch him. Dustin wanted me to wait until he got home yesterday from work so we could both go to his grave. When we got there around 5, it shocked me to know we weren't the only people that came to visit with him. There were 2 balloons, 3 cards, and a toy at his grave. I broke down crying. It felt so good to know that he still had people out there that hasn't forgotten him. They still love him, as we do. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one still hurting....still missing him. Now I know I'm not. Even Bryce, who was only one year old when Trevor died, talks about Trevor. The other night his mom, My twin, went in his room to find it destroyed. She asked him who made such a big mess. Without missing a beat, Bryce said, "Trevor did Mommy. He messed my room up!" :) My mom has a baby doll that she bought that resembles Trevor so much. She has Trevor's clothes on him. Landon and Bryce love it. Bryce stayed with mom the other night and Bryce woke up around 2:00 am wanting Trevor. She had to get up and go find the baby boll for him to hold. Then he went right back to sleep holding Trevor. I am so glad that he will never be forgotten. We had a little "party" yesterday for Trev. I got a cake from The Sweet Spot and family came over to eat. We only had 12 people here. Us, our parents, grandparents, and Dawn, Bryce, and Kendall. It was good. We sung Happy Birthday to Trevor then let Landon blow the candle out. Hopefully we can do something small like this every year. To remember him.

Landon blowing out the candle. This candle is the same one I used for Landon's 2nd birthday.

Homemade ALMOST White Chocolate Mocha!

A friend that I work with, Terry, told me about a coffee that they use to make when she worked in another deparment. I decided to try it out and we LOVE it! We have already had it 3 nights in a row now, and I'm prertty sure we will have it tonight too! ;) This is what you will need:

All you do is brew your coffee (any kind will do). We have a Keurig Coffee Maker so we usually brew about 8 oz per cup. Then you take 4 oz of black coffee, and add 4 oz of Half and Half. However much coffee you use, you need to use that much of half and half. Then add Hershey's syrup to taste. I added 3 tablespoons to our cups and it was perfect for me, but Dustin said his was just a little too sweet. Then you just add whip cream on top and enjoy!

Yum!!!!!

Mini Vacation to the Beach

Me and Dawn decided to take the boys on a mini trip to the Beach this past week. We left Thursday morning after I got out of school at 10:00 and took off! We stayed on the Beach that day then went back to the Beach house to get ready. We went and ate at Texas Roadhouse(YUMMY) and then took the boys to play put-put. My aunt was down there too so we met them later for Painter's Homemade Icecream! Friday morning we ate Breakfast at one of our favs, The Golden Egg, then headed to spend a day on the Beach! We had a blast and the boys really enjoyed each others company. We headed home late that night but we all enjoyed it and cant wait for more beach trips!

7 Years down......our whole life more to go!

Today, Sunday, is mine and Dustin's 7 year Anniversary. It seems like just yesterday when we got married. Around 1:45 today, Dustin said, "About this time 7 years ago, you were getting ready to walk down the aisle. And I was sooo nervous!" I told him I was nervous too! We both know that we made the right decision. Dustin told me today, "I knew that I loved you and I wanted to be with you forever. That's all that really mattered. I know we were young. But why wait when your sure?" He is so wonderful! I melted all over again! What he told me next just completly made me realize just how much he love me and our not-so-perfect life together. He said, "If I knew before we got married, that we were going to have a son to die at just 5 weeks old, I would still marry you all over again." I was speachless. Could I say the same thing? I mean, here he is, telling me that if he KNEW that he was going to have to face the most horrible thing that can ever happen to a parent all over again, that he would. I wanted to immediatly tell him, "Me too Dustin." But I couldnt. It was like I couldnt speak. Here we are coming on to Trevor's 2nd Birthday, and the pain is still here like it happened just a few seconds ago. I felt ashamed that I couldnt answer him back with the same answer that he gave me. But I guess that's why we dont know what the future hold. Because if we did, we might would be too scared to do anything. And that's when I realized, I would do it again. Even if I knew. I wouldnt have a healthy 4 year old boy and a happy healthy marriage if I didnt marry the love of my life. God knew that I would need someone as strong as Dustin to get through loosing a child. And I thank God for knowing what's best for me, my family, and Trevor. So Happy Anniversary Dustin! Looking forward to this weekend for our getaway! Just the 2 of us! Love you always!